Episode 20: How to Speak Love to Yourself with Regina Robinson
Embracing Inner Confidence and Taking the Leap
You are you, and that's worthy of celebrating. Regina inspires us to let go of our limiting beliefs and embark on a journey to step into our greatness fully.
In today's episode, learn how to speak love to yourself, build inner confidence, and take massive action. The world is waiting on you!
Today's guest, Regina Robinson of Regina Robinson speaks, shares how we should speak love to ourselves, be okay with saying no to unwanted gifts, and how to jump into our greatness.
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Podcast Transcript:
Kiva Slade 0:01
Hello and welcome to collab with Kiva. I'm your host Kiva, Slade. From the marbled halls of the US Congress to my racing themed office chair. I've learned that there is no perfect path to the life of your dreams. My journey over the past 20 years has included being a legislative director for a member of Congress, policy director for a nonprofit, stay at home mom, homeschooling mom, jewelry biz owner, and now the owner of a service based business. Whether your journey has been a straight line, or full of zigs and zags. Join me and my guest as we share insights hope in lessons learned from our email entrepreneurship journeys. May the collaborative sharing of our stories be the tide that lifts your boat? Let's dive in. Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of collab with Kiva. I am excited today for our guests Regina Robison. Regina is an award winning global speaker, best selling author and publisher. This is the part that I'm ready to dive into the inner confidence strategist, and she's champion of the movement unstoppable women on the move. She is widely known for engaging, motivating, and equipping women with the tools to unlock their inner confidence and become unstoppable women. She's also respected for inspiring her audience through laughter in practical principles that empower women to take immediate action in their lives, businesses and careers. After years of teaching, consulting, and coaching in the educational field, Regina built a platform where she provides education strategies and accountability for women. She inspires women to be unstoppable, unstoppable, by empowering them to show up, own their greatness, and be unapologetic about who they are as they increase their credibility, visibility and confidence. So you can tell I'm pumped, because these are topics that we talk about a lot in a lot of our inner circles with our friends. And sometimes, we don't want to have those conversations at all. We don't want to say we're not confident we're not ready to be this next version of ourselves. So I'm ready to dive into all of these things with Regina. So Regina, welcome to the show.
Regina Robinson 2:29
Thank you. I am so excited to be here today on collab with Kiva. I know we're gonna have an amazing time. So for everybody listening, buckle up, because we are in for a fireside chat on this morning or this evening whenever you're listening. So thank you again, Kiva for having me.
Kiva Slade 2:45
Yes, no problem. So let's dive in. Because I want to get into this. We hear these things about growth mindsets, fixed mindsets, limiting beliefs, all of that inner talk that we have, I think, come to acknowledge, it's actually quite powerful. And sometimes not always in a positive way. But inner confidence strategist. Tell me more about that.
Regina Robinson 3:07
Um, so one thing I realized, because it was myself first, right, so you have to know you've been through it, you've experienced it, and you've grown through it right before you can even shed light for somebody else to discover that they might possibly be doing the same thing. So what I realized for years, I was showing up, and I showed up amazing, and I showed up and I looked great, right? And when if you asked me I'd say I'm blessed and highly favored, right? That any anything you give to that flecked how you really truly fill it on the inside. And so what I realized was, I was confident on the outside because of everything that you could put on to mask up the pain that you are experiencing on the inside. And so what I realized was when I asked myself one day looking in the mirror, do you love you? And literally, I did not like back the reflection that I was seeing. And so I had to really dig deep, I had to really go with it and discover what was going on on the inside because it did not match with what I showed up on the outside. And so what was on the outside was temporary, because when I was out in public, I looked one way but when I came home, I was in the dark with the blinds closed crying in my pillow, or crying in the shower because I didn't want my young teenage daughter to hear me say we got to dig deep and find out what's on the inside. Because surface outside competence glass is temporary. But when you work on that in a conference, that's a lifetime that you can experience and you can pull on you can draw from and you can replenish but you got to work on the inside first because the head competence on the outside means nothing if it doesn't match what's on the inside.
Kiva Slade 4:39
Whoa, okay. Did everybody get those gyms because that was some serious straight talk. We have to love ourselves and you asking yourself though that question. Do you love you and looking in the mirror to honestly deal with what might not Be very comforting responses, you know, looking at ourselves and like you said, really peeling back those layers of what's really happening inside of us. And I love this because I feel like that's a journey that I had personally been on as well. And you know, you start to take on the different things of the world, or the different things that you are supposed to be like, supposed to act like think like, talk like, whatever, like, yeah, and still you realize those actually, those were the things that you were supposed to be wearing. It's like you're trying to borrow somebody else's wardrobe. And it's like, wow, this doesn't feel good. And you have to come out of that into what was actually for you. And dealing that part with you. Do you love you?
Regina Robinson 5:50
Okay, keep it I don't even think it's borrowed, right? I think the world gives it to us to put on right. And we don't even like how it feels, how it looks on us. But we take it anyway. Because we're like, you know what, it was a gift. Misconception mindset shift, it was a gift, right? So How dare is not accept the gift that someone was willing to give us. But you got to be careful of the gifts you're willing to receive, right? Remember, your gifts will make room for you, not somebody else's gifts that's given to you. It's only on you and your guests. So see, we took on all of those gifts because we felt loyal that we had to receive the gifts, right? But when you can shift your mindset and understand that not every gift is supposed to be received. And that every gift you're supposed to take all one and not every gift you supposed to embrace, right? Some gifts you supposed to say no to. Right? Because God didn't give you that gift. Someone else gave you that gift. But you want to own the gift that's rightfully yours. And when you get those gifts, don't be selfish. Share your gifts with the world.
Kiva Slade 6:54
I love that. And I would not even borrow but we were giving because I think there were as women you don't want to seem ungrateful. So you're like, okay, oh, yes, I can do that. Or I can take that on, or whatever that thing is. And I love though that like you said, it's, we're, we take it and not all gifts are good gifts. So realizing that for ourselves, okay, this, like, I have a teenage daughter today, she thought to turn 20 So Mama's gonna listen to this episode.
Regina Robinson 7:32
Okay, my daughter 20. Now as well, sophomore in college. So you know, 90, I believe that if we can start being vulnerable enough as women, to share where we really been, so that we in and help young girls understand, so that they don't have to experience that same space. And they can start at a different level than we did. Because we as women only wish it was different for us. Because we will be at a different level. But we don't trade our experiences, right? Because that was our message now is our message come on, and so many shrimp that we need for today. Right? But we have to be willing to get vulnerable, right? It says negative interconnected, you shall leave. So what's wrong with who told you you were neck? Right? Who told you you were back it just being vulnerable doesn't make you negative, being vulnerable means that you own who you are, you're unapologetic about the greatness that you bring. And you're okay, sharing that it wasn't always great. And that it wasn't always flashy, and cute and sexy. And all of that. There was some rough days, there was some crying days, there was some days you felt like giving up but you were reminded that given up, it's never an option. And that's what we have to make sure our young women can experience they can embrace, but most importantly, they can take with them on their journey as tools so that they don't accept gifts that are not designed for them.
Kiva Slade 8:58
Absolutely. I think that that's one of the when I look back at my parenting journey, like my daughter, like I said, she's about to turn 20 Our son just turned 18 I feel like tools in my toolbox that I have now come to acquire, whether it's through therapy through reading through whatever it is, it's in, like you said that vulnerability and they like passing that on. So like you said, they're not starting, like we had this curve, this eight ball. It's like no, let's go ahead and add those tools into your toolbox so that where you are in things that you can recognize about yourself in yourself, and work on yourself, you know, are things that you can literally leapfrog ahead where we like, we had a sludge and trudge all three of those things because like either it wasn't talked about, we weren't supposed to talk about it or whatever that situation was. Oh, this is this is good.
Regina Robinson 9:54
So we often took on the Superwoman Cape where we thought we had be all too. All right. So that's how we accepted so many guests. Because we were wearing our Superwoman cape, how dare us not be able to say we can handle it all? How dare start crying in front of other people? How dare I show somebody how vulnerable we are? How dare you feel like that you should feel like you You can't ask for how can you shouldn't ask someone for help, or you shouldn't tell someone else what you're experiencing, because now you tell him the business. And remember what happens in this house stays that is how this house that has been one of the biggest generational curses that women and men have alike have all taken off, that we need to break down so that our children don't believe that that is what it's supposed to be like, especially as women, we believe that we have to be all do all and have all. And that's not always the case, some days, we just need a break. That's called self care. That's called self love. Some days, we just need an exhale, and it's okay, I tell women all the time, it's okay to have that ugly cry, you got about 30 to 32 seconds to five minutes. And when it's over, get up and shake it off, right and find what was a cry about, learn from the lessons dust yourself off, because now you're stronger than you were before you shed those tears. But sometimes the tears are necessary, stop believing that you can't cry. Because when you hold it all in, you're carrying baggage you were never supposed to be carried and what that baggage does, it sits on top of your gifts. And what that means that you can't exercise the greatness of your guests and deliver it to the people you've been called and purpose to serve. So release it all so that you can walk in it all.
Kiva Slade 11:42
Yes, okay. Yeah, yeah, no, I have these podcasts. And they're not really for yesterday for me. For me, cuz I'm like, like, I needed to hear this as a reminder. So you have a video, then I caught a snippet of and you talked about how our greatness lies at the edge. And I want to delve into that, because I've had conversations recently with several other women in my space. And there's such a, I won't even just call it like a hesitation. But there is something there. And you you talk about our greatness at the edge. And you also talk about taking immediate action. And I want to unpack that because I wonder Do you recognize or have you seen that for us as women are we really, I don't want to say less decisive because I feel like when we have to decide we do what we have to do. But there does seem to be something that's a barrier to getting to that point of wanting to move towards the edge and take those immediate actions. So let's, let's talk about that.
Regina Robinson 12:47
So, let's unpack because she said several things. So the part about the hesitation, right, that stems from the belief in you, right, that is huge for us as women, it's our belief in us, right? Men will walk into a boardroom and sit down at the conference table, and they will share their opinions and they would get their things or they asked for the job knowing they don't have the experience. We'll sit and we'll listen. And we'll intake and we'll ponder and we'll go back and we're planning it in our head for years, then we're going to finally one day come sit at the table and say we deserve that job. And that Job has already been taken. But if we have believed in ourselves that day, we would have put our name on the table as well, because in fact, we had more than the man that put his on the table. It was just he believed in himself more than we believed and ours. And that belief stems from that inner part of your confidence, that shaken that you've yet to build up. Because when you build it up, you're unstoppable. But when you don't have it built up, and can I tell you the build up is a daily reminder, the build up is not eternal, the build up is daily. It's a daily reminder of you speaking life into yourself. It's a daily reminder that you are often going to fail. But when you feel feel full, it's a daily reminder that every time we take a step towards our greatness at the edge, something happens that shapes us. And then we stop. And then we feel like we got to start all over again from the beginning. And then we start on our journey to that edge, but we can receive our greatness and then something else happens. And we stop. And we believe we got to start all over again. Sister girlfriend today I stopped by with this podcast and we had no idea we would talk about it, but that you don't have to start over. Just press the reset button and keep moving. Don't go back to the beginning. Because remember, you learned what you needed to learn for the beginning. God has equipped you for what you need in the middle and you know he's already prepared you for what the end will be. So just keep going. But remember, you have everything money inside you need. You just got to believe in you. And that's where it starts. because we listen and when you get to the edge, take the jump, don't worry about how, what and who's gonna catch you remember, you are already covered. Right? And so as long as you cover, take the jump to you take your last breath. I say all the time I took the jump years ago, and I'm just waiting until I take my last breath. But in between that, I'm going to live all out. There's gonna be some mistakes. And yes, I've experienced plenty of mistakes. And yes, I've had to remind myself, right, Mary J. Blige said it best recently in her new album, good morning, gorgeous. We got to wake up every day and tell ourselves Good morning, gorgeous. I don't care what's going on around you, in you, between you and your husband, boo, whatever it is. Good morning. Gorgeous. Do you appreciate who you are that morning, when you wake up? Do you believe in who you are, even though things might not look the way they supposed to look, but you know, that you've been called, you've been purpose and you've been equipped. So press the reset button, and keep going sister, because now is your season and your greatness has been waiting for you for quite some time. It was just a momentary pause for you to believe it's on the inside of you.
Kiva Slade 16:12
Okay, pressing reset. And actually just a pause, because we do think that we need to go all the way back to square one like that bad game of Monopoly, go back to the start. We don't have to do that. Okay, I need everybody to say that to you do not have to go back to the beginning. And I've hear that often, especially as women transitioning from corporate transitioning from being a stay at home mom, and they're like, Oh, I'm going to come into this space or this position. And you feel like you need to start at the bottom of the ladder. You discount every last degree work, experience, everything that you have. And you're like, oh, I have to start here at the bottom because this is a new area for me. Yeah. No, you don't like find your lateral. Find your lateral in and stop thinking that you have to go all the way back to square one in order to move forward. Because like you said, menfolk, don't do that. They don't do that. Okay, it's like, I remember oh, gosh, what's your I can't remember her name right now. And she calls it Chad. But she's like, you know, like, embrace your inner chat. Because Chad knows he's like, only has 50% of the qualifications. The chat is sit there. I'm qualified. I'm ready to go. You're sitting there probably at 90% 95 100% of those qualifications and like up now, I gotta start at the beginning. Because Oh, absolutely. I'm new to this. And I can't do this. No, no, we don't stop that today. We are pushing pause for a moment. Let's reassess, regroup, and then we don't continue to move forward. Oh, taking and that you said to get to the edge and to take our jumps.
Regina Robinson 18:01
Yes. Take the jump. That's the action that you said. And you say take massive action. Massive Action is simply just the jump. And then when you take the jump, you don't have to have all the answers. See, as women we believe we have to have A, B, C and D, especially if you type A personality like me.
Kiva Slade 18:17
fact finders late we had A through K in order to start moving.
Regina Robinson 18:22
But sometimes when you're waiting for A through K, what you listen, here's what I know. If your gifts have been given purpose to you to do a work, and you are not doing the work, someone else will get assigned the work. And then you look up the humanities you feel like they soldier I did. So your idea you've ever said your idea. So how can they still you, you only told your idea to you. So nobody else knew about your ideas. So no one stole your idea. You didn't put your idea out there. And now you see somebody else doing what you were purchasing called to do? Stop waiting, but all the answers you will never have all the answers because in the journey is where you discover the answers. We are so hard pressed for the destination that we begin to embrace the journey in the journey is where you learn the most. And the journey is where you grow right and your weaknesses where his strength lies. Are you standing your weakness and not relying on his strength? You have to determine that you have to keep moving and not wait for all the answers. Because if you do by the time you start might be too late.
Kiva Slade 19:29
Maybe I think that is so powerful. I was saying something similar yesterday, that reminded me of physics that I don't want I think it was Newton but don't quote me on the science stuff. But like an object in motion stays in motion until acted on by an opposing force. Like the key though is the object actually has to be in motion. Okay, and it's like if it's like us sitting here factfinding looking for plotting out is not motion. You know? And we've I think deceived ourselves because it feels like we're doing something. So there's emotion searching through that. Yeah. And it's like, no, that's that the actual motion that needs to take place, it's that taking that step and actually going into whatever that thing is, you know, toss in that are out there doing the work that's related to it. Yeah, you might realize after a client or two, I need to change how this needs to take place. And that's fine. Because then though, that was because you got that clarity, based on the action you took in the motion that you were actually engaged in. And so we have to stop fooling ourselves that our research is motion, because our research is not motion, it is not action, it's not any of those things. So I love what you said there, we have to actually move and take the jump, because if we don't take the jump, we have no idea. If we don't do it, someone else is going to be assigned that work. Absolutely. And we have that fear that concern Oh, they're gonna take my idea. I can't possibly share it. There's not enough. And I'm always telling people, and I love sweets. So I'm always like, look, there's enough pack cookies, brownies, whatever it is, for each and every single one of us get up at this table and eat and be full. So don't like fool yourself into thinking somebody else is taking your clients or your business or your whatever. Like, there's more than enough because there you can't, like you said earlier, we can't be that for everybody. I can't serve everyone because everyone is not going to be a fit with me. We actually have to sit there and think through that and know if you don't take the jump. Anybody know what you're trying to do anyway? Like, no clue, like you and yourself are the only ones who know what you're thinking about doing. But if you haven't actually verbalize this and started putting things in motion, then no one else is taking what you haven't even shared. So, okay, and then we had to hit on Mary Jane, because Mary's having her moment again, I said, Mary, you have a moment like,
Regina Robinson 22:19
every 10 years. But can I tell you that major moment blesses women, right? She knows what she's been called and equipped to do. And despite what she's going through, she's in motion.
Kiva Slade 22:31
She's in motion. She is motion. So she's on it, right? Because she was like Super Bowl halftime show. We got to see Mary again, and commercials we saw there. But the NBA All Star game,
Regina Robinson 22:44
there was Mary and emotion, right? And emotion in ways that was stuff that she probably thought about years and years ago, that's now manifested, right. But she's been embracing the journey along the way. And every day that she has to her destination, she's making impact doors are opening her gifts is making room for her in spaces, that she's only believed that she had the right to be in. But now she's claiming her footing in those spaces. So where are you believe it you have the capacity to enter, but you are standing on the other side, you're not knocking, you're not knocking down. You're not believing you just standing that that door and you're waiting for it to open for you. It will not open if you're not in motion. Sister, girlfriend, get in motion today. Not tomorrow. Today. If you're looking to write the book, Getting motion, start writing notes. If you're looking to get your competence in order, start doing the inner work. If you're looking to step on stages and start sharing the gift of your power of your voice, start talking at home, look in the mirror and start with Good Morning. Gorgeous. Hello. That's the first line of your speech. Now make sure you get married credit. But that's the first line of your speech. Get in motion for whatever it is you desire. And you know you've been called to do you can't do it. If you're standing still on the sidelines watching everybody else in the game winning and then you're wondering why you're not winning is because you're not even in motion. You haven't even started.
Kiva Slade 24:28
Oh my goodness, Regina, Regina Regina. That's the message for every single one of us today. Get in motion. That's the t shirt. That's the the bumper sticker. That's all the things is that it's so simple get in motion. And it seems easy. And actually is if we start to really walk that out it is and we'll start to see like you said the doors that open the spaces that we are asked to be in because of all of that work that we had already did and put in motion. So Regina, you have jams for days you have fire you coach you help author. How can people get in touch with you? How can they get more Regina,
Regina Robinson 25:16
so they can find me on social media as Regina Robinson speaks, and that speak with an S. So I'm on Instagram. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Facebook, not on Twitter, though. And then you can catch me on my website at Regina Robeson speaks.com You can email me at info at Regina Robinson speaks calm. So I have Regina Robinson speaks all around the world, and will love the opportunity to work with you. Yes, I do. I help women who are looking, especially women of faith, who are looking to position themselves in a marketplace to credibility, visibility, and most importantly monetization for their books, through their speaker platform. And most importantly, women who are looking to discover their inner confidence so they can show up and be unapologetic about who they are, who they've been purpose to. And get in motion, right? I'm always that coach that tells you that if you need to push, guess what, I'm your pusher, I'm going to push you. And I'm going to be there to support you so that you won't be so focused on the fall. But you'll be so focused on where you are, what you're doing and how you're growing and how you're stretching. It is not about the fall, I promise you don't ever worry about the fall you covered for that. But are you covered for ticket motion? Are you covered for taking action? And are you covered for being believing in who you are and what you have on the inside? You're amazing. Stop playing down, stop dimming your light show up and be unapologetic about being a woman the unstoppable woman, God has destined for you to be a man.
Kiva Slade 26:48
So all of those details will also be in the show notes because I feel like we need to have like a part two conversation and have just more dialogue about this. But for now I want every single one of you listening to commit to yourself to get in motion. Let me just tell you this world, everything that we have going on everything that we are experiencing. We are needed. We are skills are needed, our talents are needed, and we need to be in motion in order to serve those who we have been called to serve. And y'all know I can talk about that for a long time. And this suggests is more confirmation that we need to stop playing small. We need to stop acting like and pretending that what we do is not powerful and is not needed. And I am excited for you guys to learn more about Regina, I am excited for you to sign up coach with Regina because as you've noticed here today, she will get you going and keep you going. And I think that's really important when you're looking for someone to coach with to just really have that investment with and someone who you know is CO laboring with you in that journey towards you're really really unpacking your greatness. So thank you so much Regina for being here today. I am excited. Everybody check out the show notes and find Regina on all the platforms except Twitter, Nick, are you on tick tock.
But we will definitely make sure that we include all of that in the show notes so that you can get in touch with Regina, and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of collab with Kiva. You know my heart and it wants you to know that you are uniquely made and that your business path is unique to you. I hope that now you have some clear takeaways from this episode that have left you inspired and motivated to keep pressing forward on your unique path. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And of course, your reviews on Apple are greatly appreciated. If you are a small business owner and you are ready to build out your business playbook, and you're ready to document and delegate what takes place in your business so it can grow beyond you. Make sure you visit me on my website, the 516 collaborative.com and let's schedule a time to talk. I'll see everyone next time. Bye
Meet Kiva Slade - the Founder and CEO of The 516 Collaborative. With a unique background in high-power politics on Capitol Hill and sixteen years as a homeschooling mama, Kiva found her calling in the online business world as a trusted guide for entrepreneurs looking to build the business of their dreams.
Kiva's work began behind the scenes, orchestrating the back end of businesses and managing teams. But her inner data diva couldn't help but notice that small businesses needed help harnessing the power of data for growth. So she and her team set out to uncover and tidy up the data required to enable clients to grow their businesses confidently and easily.