Episode 42: 3 Birthday Life lessons

Embracing Value, Going All In, and Knowing What You Bring to the Table

Birthdays are a time for reflection.

Today, I share three birthday life lessons that have served me well.

What are your birthday life lessons?

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Collab with Kiva.

See you next time!

Are you ready to take massive action in your business and make data-driven decisions? Let’s chat 👇🏽

Podcast Transcript:

Kiva Slade: [00:00:01]

Hello, and welcome to Collab With Kiva. I'm your host, Kiva Slade. From the marbled halls of the US Congress to my racing-themed office chair, I've learned that there is no perfect path to the life of your dreams. My journey over the past 20 years has included being a legislative director for a member of Congress, policy director for a nonprofit stay-at-home mom, homeschooling mom, jewelry business owner, and now the owner of a service-based business. Whether your journey has been a straight line or full of zigs and zags, join me and my guest as we share insights, hope, and lessons learned from our female entrepreneurship journeys. May the collaborative sharing of our stories be the tide that lifts your boat. Let's dive in.

[00:00:55]

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Collab With Kiva. I am your host Kiva Slade. And this episode is the birthday episode. Woohoo! So, birthdays ... my dad is hilarious because for him it's like it's just another day. There are some of us, maybe myself, who are like "Day? It's a week, a month. It's a celebration that goes on and on and on." So, what kind of birthday person are you? Are you the it's just another day birthday person, or are you we are celebrating this puppy all month long? I'd love to know. I think we all get reflective, or at least I do around birthdays. I actually concluded turning 50 last year. Obviously, the pandemic and all of the things that take place with that were like, "Wait, where's my big party? Where's this? Where's that?" And it's kind of funny because I was one of those people who I think I had envisioned this huge party, and I was actually okay with not having a huge party. I'm convinced that my daughter's college has no respect for my birthday whatsoever because they always schedule her move-in the day after it, so it means I'm traveling last year and this year on my birthday. So, needless to say, not everyone celebrates my birthday like I would have them do. But in that reflection, I think there's always a time to think about what are some life lessons learned. And so, in today's episode, I'm going to share three, and I reflect on 51 years of wisdom. So, the first one is to stop selling yourself short. And when I share that, I feel like as we age, mature, become more seasoned, we can often sell ourselves short.

[00:03:10]

We don't give enough credence to things that we actually have done and have accomplished. In addition to that, we don't always see the relevance and or transferability of the skills that we have. An example of that is I was participating in an event online; it was an ask me anything. And typically in the group, people are chief operating officers of companies that have at least $5 million in revenue. And I asked a question, was reached out to by one of the young ladies who was on the call. She wanted to meet up and she wanted to talk through some things. Because I found that she and I had similar experiences with our clients, even though my clients weren't at $5 million. And we had a lovely conversation. And she had been struggling with something with her CEO. And I shared with her something she could do. And she messaged me back on LinkedIn and was like, "Oh my goodness, I've done it. He's bought into it. We're going to go ahead and give this a try." She was like, "Thanks so much for sharing that. I feel so much better about this problem than I've felt in a long time." I could have felt that I had nothing to contribute, I had nothing of value to add because my clients weren't at $5 million. However, I refused to sell myself short.

[00:05:05]

While my current clients aren't there, I've worked with businesses well over $50. So, it's about realizing what you know and realizing that so much of what we've taken the time to invest in ourselves is very much relatable and transferable, and not everybody knows it. And I think that sometimes is our barrier because we think that because if we know it, everybody else knows it. That's so not the case. So, lesson number one is to stop selling yourself short. You have value to add in the situations that you find yourself in. Don't be afraid to add that value. The second lesson. I'm going to call it go all in on you. I think that sometimes for myself and I think others from conversations I've had, we say that we're all in, but there's some hesitancy. Because there's a fear of what if we actually succeed going all in on ourselves? What if the things we dream about, the things we envision, the plans that we have, those epiphanies that you get in the shower in the morning, what if all of those things actually do happen? And while it's exciting, it can also be debilitating. It can also be very downright scary.

[00:06:58]

Because when you decide to become a small business owner, when you decide to pursue some entrepreneurial journey, you do have to go all in on yourself. There's no one else that you can pass the buck to, that you can place the blame on. All of those things. And I actually liken it back to when I homeschooled my kids. I couldn't say it was the schools. I couldn't say it was their books that they had, the resources. I couldn't say any of that. There was no one. Now I could say, hey, they were just straight lazy this day. But there was no one that I could pass or look to externally to say, hey, this is why this is this didn't happen, or they don't know this, or this concept didn't stick. The teacher didn't understand their learning style. There's none of that that I can say. I was the teacher, I was the principal, I was the school admin. I was all of the things. So, when you decide that you have to go all in on you, even when I was homeschooling my kids, it was like, okay, there is no one else that you can say didn't do X, Y, and Z, but you. So, as a result of that, you have to make sure that you do all the things that you know to do to make sure that their education is going to be a success. Now, obviously, there are things that they need to do that I couldn't do for them, but I needed to create the environment in which they could do those things, in which they could show up as their best selves, and in which they could learn. And that is a part of going all in on you. When you decide to begin this entrepreneurial journey or wherever you find yourself in it, are you creating the environment that allows you to show up as your best self?

[00:09:04]

When you think about your time, are you giving your best, most alert hours to your business? Or if you're a service-based business, are you giving that to your clients? Are you saving the scraps and leftovers for yourself and then wondering why is this not moving the way that I thought it would? Going all in on you, you have to make those decisions. You have to make those priorities, priorities. And remember, if you go back, the priority actually was a singular word for a very long time before it actually became plural, because really you can't have multiple priorities if we're honest. But that's another conversation for another day. So, I want you to go all in on you. It's going to look different for each and every person listening. Based on your life circumstances it's going to look different. The reality still is, though, that you need to create that environment that allows you to show up as your best self so that you can go all in on you. And the last one is to know what you bring to the table. Now, I don't want to confuse that with charge or know your worth, because I believe they're different things. We might all think that we're invaluable, the market's going to say, No, you're 2000. So, I'm not going to talk about charging your worth. I'm going to talk about knowing what you bring to the table. And it ties into the other two. But when you know what you bring to the table, you'll be a lot more selective as to what tables you sit at. You'll be a lot more selective to who you eat with at the table.

[00:11:02]

And not in a mean girl's fashion of you can't sit with me, but I know what I bring to this table. You will have that confidence in the transformation that you bring, the outcomes that you bring, that you will know that there are certain people you should not partner with. And knowing who you shouldn't partner with is just as valuable as knowing who you should partner with. Because much of the work you will do as a consultant, as a service-based professional, you have to make sure there's alignment with whoever you're working with. And when you know what you bring to the table, you will start out realizing "Hey, something feels a little weird here. This isn't in alignment with who I am and what I can bring to the table." And I say it's different from charging your worth because again, some people will calculate out what their package is, cost, and hey, we're going to multiply that by 2.5, by three, whatever the situation is. That sounds really great. I did that for over ten years having a jewelry business. You knew what the price of your materials was. What does that relate to in terms of what is the overhead for this? And there are formulas to come up with your price. But I'll be honest with you, in many of the instances, especially selling on a platform like Etsy, yeah, the actual cost when you put in your overhead and your rate to pay yourself and everything else like that, that pair of earrings is probably really, I don't know, let's say $75, but earrings very similar to that are being sold for $45.

[00:13:09]

You could put yours out there at 75, but you're really going to have to make the case for why yours at 75 sterling silver are different than Sally Sue's for 45, that's the same sterling silver. Yes, you might have umpteen years of experience as a silversmith and this, that and the other and yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda. Customers oftentimes in products, they're not asking about that, they're trying to get the best deal that they can for the money that they can afford to spend. Services can sometimes be a bit different, and that's why it's important for you to know what you bring to the table. Solve the problems. I think Sarah Blakely says, "Sell them their problem, not their solution." So, when you've nailed down what that problem is and you've nailed down what that transformation is that you can provide through what you offer, you have a much clearer understanding of what you bring to the table. That understanding gets more clear as you actually do that work with clients and actually make those transformations happen, actually make the change that they're looking for in their business. You help them to increase their sales. I would say increase visibility, but most people aren't really tracking that to know whether or not they've increased it. You've helped them dial in their marketing, and that has led to more qualified leads, which has led to more discovery calls booked, which has led to three new clients. Know what you bring to the table. Again that will help you be more selective in which tables you choose to eat at. So, those are some birthday episode lessons for you. Stop selling yourself short. Go all in on you. And know what you bring to the table. I hope that you have enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you next week. Bye.

[00:15:32]

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Collab With Kiva. Each of us has a different path and I hope that this episode gave you some takeaway that has left you inspired and motivated to keep pressing forward on your unique path. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And of course, your reviews on Apple are greatly appreciated. If you're a small business owner ready to start making data-driven decisions in your business and you know that without the data, you're really just guessing, make sure to visit my website, the516collaborative.com, and let's schedule a time to talk to make sure that you can harness the power of data in your business. I'll see you next time. Bye.

Meet Kiva Slade - the Founder and CEO of The 516 Collaborative. With a unique background in high-power politics on Capitol Hill and sixteen years as a homeschooling mama, Kiva found her calling in the online business world as a trusted guide for entrepreneurs looking to build the business of their dreams.

Kiva's work began behind the scenes, orchestrating the back end of businesses and managing teams. But her inner data diva couldn't help but notice that small businesses needed help harnessing the power of data for growth. So she and her team set out to uncover and tidy up the data required to enable clients to grow their businesses confidently and easily.